Actions vs. Self-Worth: Teaching Kids the Right Message
- Beau
- Feb 28
- 1 min read
Written by Beau, MSED, BCBA, TRLC, CCST-I, RYT 200
As a pediatric behavior specialist, I’m here to share key insights that can help you and your young person empower, adapt, and thrive. Here’s what you need to know-
A child’s actions are not a reflection of their worth—but too often, that’s the message they receive.
When a child is praised only for being good or reprimanded for being bad, they begin to internalize the idea that their value is tied to their behavior. This can create a cycle of shame, where mistakes feel like personal failures rather than opportunities for growth.
✨ 3 Questions to Ask Instead of Labeling a Child as “Good” or “Bad” ✨
🔹 What skills does this child need to build?
🔹 What emotions are driving this behavior?
🔹 How can I guide them rather than shame them?
Instead of equating what a child does with who they are, it's recommended that adults focus on teaching their young people that their worth is constant, even when their behavior needs guidance. A young person who struggles to follow directions isn’t bad—they are learning. A young person who makes a mistake isn’t less worthy—they are growing.
💪 When we separate actions from self-worth, we empower children to take responsibility for their choices without believing those choices define them. 💪
Let’s teach young people to understand that they are always worthy of love, support, and growth—no matter what challenges and mistakes they make along the way.
✨ Questions About Your Child's Actions? Schedule a Brainstorming Call ✨
